Basically, you want to have a good back and forth when talking with the woman you are interested in. Ideally, your conversations will involve a balanced sharing of questions and responses. You want to talk to her without other distractions at hand—no checking of your cell phone each time it beeps—and actively listen to her responses. To show her that you have heard what she has said, reword it back to her.
Genuine women respond to honesty. The skirt-chaser who uses all the old pick-up lines is unlikely to create a good emotional connection with a woman. Be yourself. Share what you are passionate about. Talk about your work if you love it. If an emotional connection is going to be created, it needs to be between two people who are showing each other exactly who they are.
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Be upfront and natural so she has the chance to fall in love with what you have to offer, and not some made-up image that you think you need to portray. Even if you think you are weird, let your weird flag fly.
She might love your kind of weird! As your emotional connection deepens, you will feel more and more at ease with each other, which is a great thing. Let her know that she can be completely open with you, sharing her fears, dreams and hopes. She can be vulnerable in front of you and you will still love her wholly.
Let her know she is perfect just the way she is. Keep up the physical, non-sexual contact. Kiss her sweetly without pressuring her for more is a good way to form an emotional bonding with a woman that you love. So kiss her neck when she is washing the dishes. Hug her tight before you leave for work. It is indeed the small, gradual steps that always matter.
Sure, women appreciate the occasional bouquet of roses, a bottle of perfume, or a surprise weekend getaway. But smaller, intimate expressions of love can really help connect you emotionally with each other. Pour her a glass of wine as she starts dinner preparation. Offer to give her a back massage as you are watching television. Leave her a loving note in her suitcase as she packs for a business trip.
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All of these signs of affection help your emotional connection. When she meets a challenge, whether it be personal or professional, tell her how proud you are of her.
When you are out with friends, brag about her accomplishments to others. Simple, right? So you post a video on Facebook that depicts you eating insects on your last Thailand vacation and hope she clicks the Like button — for many men an obvious sign of attraction! S dollars on you or there is no freaking way in hell you are leaving with that delicious looking watermelon. No matter how many shells, or buttons, or fishbones you try to pay with, the cashier will never accept the wrong currency. The same principle applies in love: You need the right currency to get some in the game of love.
Maybe your best friend is someone like that.
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Someone you had an instant connection with. Someone you immediately could talk to easily, someone who made you feel understood.
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Maybe you share a bond with a colleague, who, for no apparent reason, just liked you from the beginning and you also felt instant sympathy for them. Humans crave emotional connection. We want to feel understood. We want to feel appreciated. We want to feel admired. As a general rule, people who can trigger a strong emotional response in us are the ones we fall for romantically. So, if all of us, sooner or later, want someone who we have chemistry with, is there anything we can do to find more people like that?
And once we have, how can we be sure the other person feels the same? As you are typing away on your notebook someone asks you if the seat next to you is already taken. After a few minutes, as you get up to order a chai latte, you look over to the woman who just sat down.
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It hits you like a freight train. As you are still sitting there, frozen in confusion, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot, you realize that something about this girl is different. She has something far more desirable to offer than long legs and a flat stomach. You notice a for many men unknown feeling creep in: you want to get to know her. What this leads to, is either not doing anything at all and beating yourself up about it at home, or starting a conversation but being too nervous and too much in your head to allow any exchange of emotion to happen.